Free Ebook When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along, by Joshua Coleman
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When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along, by Joshua Coleman
Free Ebook When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along, by Joshua Coleman
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Review
“A wise and helpful book.” (Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., Director, Stanford Forgiveness Projects and author of Forgive for Good)“Joshua Coleman’s book is a gift, offering extraordinary wisdom coupled with practical advice.” (Steven Mintz, Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences and author of Huck's Raft: A History of American Childhood)“An especially healing, practical resource. . .for anyone exhausted by strained, hurtful relationships with their adolescent or grown child.” (--Dr. Linda Nielsen, Professor of Adolescent Psychology & Women's Studies, Wake Forest University and author of Embracing Your Father: Building the Relationship You Always Wanted With Your Dad)“I LOVE this book. [It] is written from such a realistic and compassionate perspective that it is heart-warming.” (Hara Estroff Marano, Editor at Large, Psychology Today; author of A Nation of Wimps)“Exceptionally perceptive.” (--Stephanie Coontz, Author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage and The Way We Never Were)“A superb treatment...a unique and groundbreaking approach...an eyeopening read for anyone.” (Library Journal (starred review))“Coleman’s focus is on helping the parent cope and carry on...an engaging read despite the serious subject matter.” (Publishers Weekly)“An important book that can help parents heal.” (Baltimore Sun)“. . .desperately needed. . . a truly great book for parents, and a great book for therapists who work with families.” (--Heather Folsom, M.D., author and adult and child psychiatrist)“This is an incredibly insightful and sensitively written analysis of a difficult subject. . . .I have recommended it to many of my clients. . . I highly recommend it to all parents who hurt.” (--Jan Levine, Ph.D., co-author of Why Do Fools Fall in Love?)
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About the Author
Dr. Joshua Coleman, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized expert in parenting, couples, families, and relationships. He is a Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. The author of two critically acclaimed books, The Marriage Makeover and The Lazy Husband, he is a frequent contributor to the San Francisco Chronicle, and his advice has been featured in the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, Psychology Today, the Times (London), and elsewhere. He is a frequent guest on the Today show and has appeared on 20/20, Good Morning America, and many other news programs. He lives with his family in the San Francisco Bay area.
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Product details
Paperback: 320 pages
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; Reprint edition (August 26, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0061148431
ISBN-13: 978-0061148439
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.7 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 15.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.2 out of 5 stars
286 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#44,396 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I am currently in therapy and try to read what I can on this subject. This book has been absolutely the best and most helpful and highly recommend. My sweet 21 year old only daughter who was still living with us while attending a local college, became hostile towards us when she started dating a guy in a nearby town she met online and he wanted her out of her parents house. She left and was estranged for 6 months, and since some communication started again, my daughter has written revenge texts about my parenting, her childhood, etc. THIS book talks about this exact scenario in a totally appreciative manner that doenst leave you feeling hopeless.If you don't want to be that bitter, old woman or man, sitting in a chair all alone someday in your 80's because you protected your ego over everything possible then I suggest you read this book. It helped me feel so much better about my future and letting her go and leaving her choices to her. But also not to be continually abused by an adult child and to find your life. Remember we all had a life before we had them, right?!!Being a parent was my job for so long and ingrained in me so has been very difficult to change, and very painful. I have had moments of complete bawling and crying out, to just tearing up in conversations with friends. It's Christmas time while I write this, and while shopping for groceries I had to stop in the aisle, plug my ears for several minutes as a Celine Dion Christmas song came on overhead that was my daughter's and I favorite Christmas song. People probably thought I was off, but if I unplugged my ears for a second I would bawl. More than half my hair has fallen out from the original shock of losing her. It truly is very much like a death and you very much go through the same grief if not worse because you know they are still out there and don't want anything to do with you. She was the lucky one getting out of this home where I am stuck with all the memories of the past 22 years. The property was literally built around her as she grew up and everything a memory.I truly enjoyed raising my daughter and wallowed in every moment. She and I were extremely close and never would've thought this could happen in a million years. But at the same I was overwhelmed and my marriage had issues and there where times where my stress resulted in anger and yelling between my husband and I and of course the daughter caught in the dysfunction. You just have to recognize no one is perfect nor the perfect parent. This book will explain this to you.I am still not reconnected completely with my daughter, we've seen each other a few times, some of it good, some of it went bad. She is living with the guy, but this book has given me ideas and a plan to fight for her and have her in my life again. To accept. To live for myself. I don't want to be that old lady in a chair petting a cat as my only company. I want my daughter in my life and will do what it takes to atleast try.. Thank you Dr. Coleman for this book. I wish you had more reading materials to buy here. This book is brilliant and you have so much to offer all of us!
NOT A BOOK FOR PARENTS OF ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN. There is only one chapter in the back of the book devoted to adult children. The title page is sorely misleading. This a book for parents of teenagers.
This book opened my eyes about parenting adult children and helped me understand the dynamics between my adult daughters and me. I don't have major issues with my children, but I felt hurt perhaps because they grew up and I felt that I was no longer important in their lives. My role changed from "indispensable mommy" to a casual consultant in regards to making decisions in my children's lives. The transition to parent young children to adult children feels to me like being demoted from captain of the ship to petty officer third class... but this book helped me understand that dynamic and finally I understood that my role might have changed but never the love between my children and I. I really recommend this book, not only if parents are having issues with their adult children, but even before any issues arise and just to help understand the dynamics between parents and adult children.
This book is written more for parents with difficult teenagers. Teenagers are not "grown" children. There is not much in book for help with grown up children.
This book nailed it for me! It helped me to realize how I got to where I am at, as well as how to untangle this mess. Best of all, I can see that I am capable of having a bright future with or without the cooperation of my child.
It never occurred to me that I would be so disconnected from my child. The sense of loss and failure is sometimes overwhelming. Luckily, I happened across Dr. Coleman's book. I found it gave me a very effective tool in shifting my thinking in the midst of all the pain and other feelings. No matter how you got to the point that you feel you need this, and regardless of the age of your kids, Dr. Coleman's insights will provide a potent addition to how you think about and respond to your own estrangement. Read it, it will help.
Terrific book, well-written with tips to 'strive' for in your relationship with your children. Carefully lets you see your situation from your adult children's point of view. Very helpful without making you feel ashamed or guilty. Highly recommend this book. I learned about it from an article in AARP newsletter that mentioned the author.
Much more insightful than the standard books on this subject. Instead of counseling hurting, estranged parents to bite their tongues and apologize, ad nauseum, Coleman spends a good deal of time offering historical contexts for parent-child estrangment. Very helpful, emotionally. THEN he offers the standard pap, though along with less self-effacing strategies if you choose to re-engage with your adult child. Some decide not to, he points out. Some parts of the book deal with parent-child interactions, from the perspective of adults who have now been shunned by their own adult children. For those who haven't spent their lives in therapy, this would be exceptionally helpful.
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